Hi I'm tired.

If you haven't read him already then poo on you.

Of course Bandini is just getting by and on the brink of becoming famous as a writer, without selling out to Hollywood by writing gaudy screen plays. Still broke, his love here is an elderly widowed woman who makes him food and sleeps by his side in her bed. Then there's the Filipinos, etc. Same ol' good stuff.

Panda for Amanda

Panda for Amanda, originally uploaded by ter -ri -fic!.

"It was the voice of a woman who is glad to be alive, who indulges herself, who is careless and indigent, and who will do any-thing to preserve the modicum of freedom which she possesses." - Henry Miller Quiet Days in Clichy

"...if you want to know how to enjoy life, you also have to know what sadness is. Otherwise it isn't worth a damn."

Thanks Celine for scattering my brain, thank Keret for balancing it with your 1 - 4 pages short stories about every persona imaginable with a touch of cynicism, erotica, morbidity, and humor. This author, who is apparently a household name in Tel Aviv, is genius. Well loosely. But really how many people can establish a plot, characters, with some depth, surprise, and relativity in less than 5 pages? well less than 5 short, spacey pages. He made me laugh about decapitated rabbits and children left to fend for themselves on top of refrigerators. You can find/read most of it on Google books. Thanks library.

Why was this thing such a killer to trudge through. I think the afterword by William Vollman reminded me why it's tolerable and why I am not insane for losing my place and train of thought within a thumb full of pages.. yea the transitions between places and events are lose or merely nonexistent. I still found myself reaching for this... even though after hours of pessimism, I still found it awesomely funny and entertaining. I was told to read the book before I read anything about Celine. The same friend who recommended it also later said "I hope it didn't piss you off." Apparently he was insane and the further you read into it, the more his thoughts are broken and jagged. I loved that he hated the world, the bourgeoisie, and he would not buy into civilized bullshit. Even though his take on existence is daunting, he is insightful and I still feel there is truth in his rantings. He is still a great writer and his wanderings from the first World War to Africa to New York to Detroit without any sense of a calling is refreshing. Okay it did help me get through the 5.5 hour flight with a new born crying baby and an angry, bitter couple from Manhattan.

"Maybe what makes life so terribly fatiguing is nothing other than the enormous effort. We make for twenty years, forty years, and more to be reasonable, to avoid being simply, profoundly ourselves that is, vile, ghastly, absurd. It's the nightmare of having to represent the halt subhuman we were fobbed off with as a small-size universal ideal, a superman from morning to night."

Sleep No Sleep Sleep

"... Even memories have their youth... when you let them grow old, they turn into revolting phantoms dripping with selfishness, vanity, and lies..." - Celine


ph: by Andoo

I am back after a week stint of big city. I like getting away from home, okay who doesn't. This was my fourth time checking out the city and its been a different experience every time. Okay, this time around made me realize how old I'm becoming... it was more of a mellow stride through BK and Manhattan, but I know I still have some growing up to do...




Sunday 07-11-10
"Time flies past from days to years. Tendencies don't seem to change much in people, enough where enemies can be friends again - vice versa. You also see how people grow or don't - evolve for the better or stay the same in irksome ways. Bonding - banter over stiff drinks that take years for beings to accustom their palates and where the history is there; the nostalgia that surmounts the bitterness is stronger with both time and drunken similarities. 'You two are a dangerous combination. Always trying to out drink each other.' - T.A."

"San Jose is such a sinkhole."



Plus "I forgot how subways - the feel, sound, faces - relax me... When I'm about to leave, I finally know my way around."




Back in Oakland with my one love...

NY bound carry on: 7 days 7 nights

NY bound carry on: 7 days 7 nights, originally uploaded by ter -ri -fic!.

So I'm leaving tomorrow for my first real vacation in years. Yea, like I'll be in a plane 1,000+ miles away!

Okay... what I really think about is how much time I get to dive deep and read. So after much contemplation... Journey to the end of the Night by Celine and The Third Eye by Rampa are the chosen. I guess Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and Game of Thrones will have to wait....

"When you have no imagination, dying is small beer; when you do have imagination, dying is too much."

"It's as black as an asshole."

I'm telling you this book is already amazing.

_______________________

"Yes I read. I have that absurd habit. I like beautiful poems, and all the beyond of that poetry. I am extraordinarily sensitive to those poor, marvelous worlds left in the dark night by a few men I never knew." - from a surrealist book, read by Nate in a blurred drunken state.

"My mind'sa dark and cloudy, my mind'sa gone to my feet." - Blind Willie McTell