Pre 2009

ph: markos
My old g ride.

Xmas week isn't quite over yet. Thanx to my lover for an easel, my family for college monies & corporate gift cards, pav's fam for pajamas and a matching ramen bowl set for the two of us (blue and pink)...

I've been sleeping more than reading... read halfway "Kafka was the Rage: a Memoir of Greenwich Village" wear the author actually attended new skool college of social research after fighting in WW2.. and reminded me of my old dreams to live in the city and study in that program. weep weeep

Instead I picked up..

which was overall a good plot... overpopulation in Britain, so everyone is limited to one child (excess children are fined), the bible is an ancient smut book from the past, homosexuality is encouraged, contraceptives are mandatory from the Ministry of Infertility, cannibalism is a last resort when rations are out, war is a government scheme to kill off the Darwin award cases and at least make them have a proud patriotic death. Still it was a drag.

Now its Henry Miller's Quiet Days in Clichy

, which unfortunately I saw the movie first, but still a good story of erotic bohemian France from the perspective of an American man whore.

2 more weeks until I have to hit the books seriously...er.

To Nevada City..

Finished this sucker last Wednesday...am I happy with the ending? ahh errr..not satisfied really. I did like how Bolano tied the characters together, but 2666 never made sense to me, nor the ending of a flavor of ice cream an author was named after, who know one remember, but is eaten on its most popular seasons of spring and summer. From reading I guess 2666 makes more sense in the Amulet and seems to be some cryptic code of a message (what my boss mentioned today)...ugh.

For a change I picked up "A penal colony" which includes 'the metamorphosis'..again a story I was sheltered from for years... because the family value factor is missing?

Today, we got in Bukowski's 'Women"
... and I will be happy and free, and admire the smut that I have put in front of me.

Part 4: The Part About the Crimes - had detailed descriptions of each of the murders in Santa Teresa, never really determining who are the serial killers, even though with the same themes of murder (rape, strangulation, left nipple bitten off, clothed, etc), you can never really pin point who did it...it sounds more like a an overall male dominance issue, where some husbands confess to the murders of their wives, while others sound like a pimp or client that has murdered his whore.
Some really grotesque incidents (i.e a raper in jail who gets a shiv in his rectum, new fish's ball sac sliced open)...I made it a point not to always read before I slept.


120 plus pages isnt anything, but as Burroughs first it's one of his easier novels - mostly about 'H' and 'M', sometimes 'C'...but his travels from city to city (new orleans to mexico city) trying to score and avoiding the pigeons, going through rehab, the junk withdrawels, etc. They even talk of hipsters haha... yea the same as ones now that talk about wanting to do drugs and once on em needing to be babied. I finished this last night then had bad dreams about being in a car with people jabbing each other with needles to death...

Part 3: The Part About Fate
... I'm a wuss but the story is getting intense. A reporter from Harlem goes to Santa Teresa to report on a boxing event, but he somehow gets involved with reporting of the murders of hundreds of women that have been occurring in the town.

Feeling creepy.

Doing nothing

..with that break I read...

which made me horribly uncomfortable to the point I had to keep reading until things settled down (around chapter 16 when Camilla scores pot). Arturo is a straight edge writer barely making it by in 70's LA, borderline obsessive and more so compulsive over a mexican waitress named Camille, it's a constant hatred to be loved game between then, except that Camille is more obsessed over Sammy, who wants nothing with her. Arturo still goes life and limb for this chick and its dreadful... ahhh

Bukowski wrote the foreword, apparently this was his author god, and you can notice the resemblence (except Fante is sober than ever... denying a free beer for coffee). Another worthy mention are the Filipino danceclubs and a Filipino guy with a pimp suit to compensate for his inch short of height to his woman hoe.

Saturday was a stay at home day, which consisted of above and below:
First attempt at faces... from the back cover of 'the Island'


Now back to 2666 Part 3... owweee. Best book of 2008...we'll see.

Sincerly,

(by Pavel)

2666

1: The Part About the Critics
2: The Part About Amalfitano
... I found to be tedious to read, but the constant tangents, side- stories, etc
is still interesting all in all.

The book is more like 5 parts = 5 novels, but they all tie together somehow, where one minor character in one part, becomes the main in the next.

Part 1 of 4 literary snobs/ critics who study German literature and are on the quest to find Archimboldi, their beloved writer who they travel south to find him, but really never do.. I guess that's where 5: The Part About Archimboldi comes to play (err like six hundred blah blah pages later). More like a love triangle with off set dreams and travels from Paris to London, Madrid to Paris, etc, references to Spanish lit, its not a bad way to start the book.

Part 2 I found easier, with a philosophy professor from part 1 that becomes the main character and why he seems to have gone mad, drama with a wife that has left him and their daughter to follow a poet, then comes back to find him; an unowned deteriorating book plus philosophy geometry diagrams; hearing a voice of someone who ends up not who he originally thinks to be...

Yea this book is all the hype and it really deserves it (well for the 200+ pages I've read at least...) err ah..yea Im taking a break.

eating meat

I'm really into this..really really. Gordon (the main guy) is anti money; he believes 'making good' ($$ success) is the root of evil in all mankind and is determined to surpass it. Being the youngest son of a middle class family who never did anything to better themselves, they always supported him financially for a good education, but as 29 yr old going 30, he's quit 2 'good' jobs to work at a bookstore, live in poverty, write poems, eat bread and margarine... he loses his cool when he finally gets paid, treats his friends out, blows all his money on expensive food and champagne, gets drunk, tries to rape his girlfriend. That's not all, but awesome for a book written in the 1930's.

Birds & Batteries splurge:

I'll Never Sleep Again"
Birds & Batteries; Audio CD; $0.06

"Nature vs. Nature"
Birds & Batteries; Audio CD; $0.52

plus -
,
piles of solid wood blocks to paint on,

and Good Hustle on a Friday is a good day.

under One Month Old

Our first little baby tank. Progress updates TBD.

Finished reading a fic memoir from Diane Di Prima... a female beatnik-er living in NY.
First half of the book is all cunt, cock, balls, and ass - group sex, free sex, gay sex (did I just pick up some erotica?) but more towards the end, it was more a lifestyle then anything - I began to appreciate her pov, values and lack of sometimes, enough to pick up her other memoir book..nehaaaj1iheuhlafhaelfjdshfja

Tuesday is the big day

...and Obama's grandmother passed the eve of.

Saw my mother on her day off that really was a 'lay off' from a mall laser treatment job she took on part time/ for fun that had to close its one of many doors because of the good ol' economy. Her answer to this economic state 'God will provide', but the God worshiping sons of bitches in office for the past 8 years is what the hell sent us down and out. I havent seen my mother as much as I should and used to, and I miss here really. I hate cutting the time we spend together short, but the moment I jump into the car is Christian radio with discussions of Yes on Prop 8 with a testimony from a gay man who married his partner when the prop was passed a couple years ago and regretted it cause it was too early; then another story about the teachers who took their students to city hall to watch her and her partner get married...etc. 'We have a creator and he provided a life manual..'. I'm telling you its difficult. Then asking "how is your living situation" seemingly expecting (probably praying) that its the detrimental situation her religion predicts to be.
3 hours is all I can stand..then hearing about my older brother now attending church... I need to go home...I need to be in my comfort in my immortal scientific human adulterous life. I'm jealous. Really jealous of others who did without this sheltered childhood that shunned me from reading, listening,seeing, learning anything that was out there. At 25 I feel I'm late in the game...I have too much to catch up on...

...from reading:


I felt better. Chianski continues his wino, perverted, can't keep a job, gambling antics. (Like a continuation of Post Office) Not much I can say, except I respect his thought of the white collar life as the real down way to live. Travels cross country by bus, no emotion with the things in life that would make us depressed, instead its drowned by port wine. Out of a house, a woman, and a job his last dollar is spent at the strip club.

Sunday night I also picked up: Joan Didion's non fiction collection of work - We Tell Ourselves Stories in Order to Live..and honestly haven't been able to let it go

I guess she's more popular now for her novels, but she did write articles in her early years. The first book in particular Slouching towards Bethlehem is of events and people pertaining to California in the 60's. The Miller case in San Bernadino, Joan Baez School of NonViolence in Monterey, Howard Hughes as heroic and his empire, marriage in Las Vegas, etc etc... yea I haven't even dented the thing....

Never too old...

Before:




After:

Ph: AnAm



Reading "A Cook's Tour", nothing worth writing about, but its 'Ok'. Foie gras and caviar sounds mighty good though. I think I seriously am starting to ditch the veg thing. Conflicted/ Denial. Sigh.
(Let me mention while carving pumpkins, they grilled bacon wrapped hotdogs. Yea I missed out I know.)

edit: Okay I take it back. Now that I've read it Cook's Tour is pretty splendid. A highlight is a visit to SF and his description of the city is actually on point! Especially with the city's fascination with Fernet... I think it gives Bourdain some deserved credibility.

borrowed books borrowed books

My first Bukowski read, which was relatively easy and engaging. A job at the good ol' post office, an easy in, high turnover, 'secure' position for the main guy, who is a brash backtalker, drunk, womanizing, loyal, good luck gambler... my kind of character. If someone was to describe his qualities, he would seem more like a jerk/ loser, but his honest charm gives sense of the fact he scores about any 'ass' he lays eyes on.

Makes me wonder how close this guy's persona is to the author. I guess this was one of his early novels, I have yet to learn how absurd he becomes... yea I was made a quick fan of his.

I want: factotum, woman

next: ham on rye; pulp (last novel he wrote before he died)

"its a thin line between love & hate"

ph: dru

more love more love....

how much can/ will it take for 2 different people to make it work.

Mental ward at a time when disorders were not understood (red pills, 'disturbed' and electro shock therapy in extreme cases), even though I halfway wondered why the characters in the story were admitted in the ward in the first place, it sounded more like the staff that ran the facility had ego/ power trips than therapeutic intentions.

First person, Indian (not PC) 'Chief' was the most insightful of course and with reminiscence of watching his tribe and settlement being taken over by the white man, who couldn't blame him for being 'insane', even though he his insights never hinted of it; McMurphy being the hero of causing chaos and giving life to the ward patients (fishing trips, gambling, 'sluts' and booze) with unaccounted tendencies... I couldn't help but hope for this guy to win war with the nurse and topple the bureaucracy.

In some ways, both sides win at the end...the nurse's willing patients unadmit one by one leaving a failed rehabilitation clinic, while McMurphy is fried and scalpled to a vegetable at her content and discretion.

Became a great read as I came further to the end, all character's had personality...more interesting was reading later that Kesey wrote this book during is graveyard shift working at a ward in Menlo Park, and even underwent electro-shock and took the drugs. Muy Bien and Kesey is pretty much amazing.

Next: Demon Box

A Wales kid at the hostel in Buenos Aires told me this is his absolute favorite book. I picked up the 'Original Scroll' version, but finally someone sold the original version at my work. Thought this would be the better first one to pick up.

A really easy read with the yearning to say 'fuck you' to our corporate slave jobs and yuppie lifestyle... brings out the do what you feel attitude - escape the city, hitchhike to the other side of the country, fall in love with innocence, drink and be high, share stories with strangers, sleep on car roofs, have no fear of the world - aka - people are out to harm you, debt, monogamy, gaining status. Dean has to be the best guy ever -always tearing shit apart, but has the energy and enthusiasm that we all need in life.

Epic Saturd - day

I've been haggling my Pav to spend some good time together - more like doing things we like to do, rather than spending our free time attending other people's functions (which has been the case for the last month or so).



cacks, dru, corporate P teabag, my big ass head

-Take 7am train (first one out to SF)
-Ride to Valencia for a good Veg breakfast at Boogaloo's: 'fake' steak, polenta, biscuit and veg gravy!
-Ride to Academy of Art/ Steinhart Aquarium
-Ride to Clement - found a chicken hawk kite for 1.49. Rode to fleet week, flew kites, laid in the grass, watched tax dollars burn in the air
-Biked back to the city for bikestore (yawn booo)
-Coffee, whisky flask and coke came in handy at the Park
-Bender's bar - played dru some bar pool, had my first deep friend twinkie, mucho tecates, #1 champions of Erotic photohunt ya!
-DimSum on mission late night
-Mike Giant show - more like sitting on the curb drinking and watching the cops pass us by. TL cops are serious cops.
-Take the 12am train (last train to SJ).

Monday strawberries, water, tofu adobo

An overthinker's day to day journal with no feeling for a thing in the world, was at times hard to follow especially with the neighbor sawing metal outside, a fixie jock on caltrain talking about vegetarianism, etc. but Sartre writes delicately and heartfelt, which made this book feel personal.

He questions his existence, but more I can understand his reasons of wondering why he was brought here. Seen as pessimist by the Self - Taught Man, which had to be my favorite character on top of Anny, the love of his life, the 30 - year old history writer often has no feeling for life as it passes by in front of him, but documents ever small detail to find its meaning.

Stabs himself in the hand with no pain; reuniting with Anny after 4 years, who is changed and no longer seeks perfect moments, but has outlived her life and is the living dead; finds out why the Self- Taught Man has a the optimism for the youth of life like he does (shocking ahha)... all in all he moves from moment to moment waiting for meaning, feeling nothing, except to only realize that he is free to be lavish (spend a money on travel, women, etc) or do nothing but at the end everything is just meaningless(not really positive or neg).

next up: No exit and 3 other plays

Post - vegan mac and cheese/ cement park and tecate

I will be honest to mention that this the first Orwell book I have read out of the 4 I have in my stack. No, I did not have the standard English 4 classes writing papers on refugee animals or the thought police, although Downtown Owl did involve literal mentions/explanations of 1984 in the plot of one of its characters. Still it's on my 'list'.

A more or less apathetic first - hand account of life in Paris and London, Orwell is a poverty stricken journalist moving day to day short of food, looking for odd jobs, socializing with fellow tramps and bunk mates. A few books that I was reminded of (even though this is obviously was written first):

Jack London's People of the Abyss - instantly cause it's the same plot, except that London is still high class, but disguises himself to write intimately about the bad conditions. He holds more pity towards the poor and despises his gov't.

Antony Bourdain's Kitchen Confidential - only for the sole reason that the main character gets a dishwasher gig in a french kitchen, there's even mention of a Les Halles. Same conditions of 17 hour days, hell-ish sweat dripping on your food environment, rats and slathered on the floor meat to serve - but a gig with dignity.

Tell them who I am, Mole People, Dark days (doc), etc (I guess any thing that involves a first hand account of poverty) - Cause Orwell concludes, like the rest, that the poor are as intelligent, honest, and hardworking as the rest of society. Work, as in doing something they enjoyed, could bring them out of this state if only it was available. We are all the same beings - a slave for survival, but we still find reasons to be disgusted with the suffering.

next up: Keep the Aspidistra Flying , 1984, animal farm,

Attachment woes.... I can't blog to detail, but man I'm bummed.

I miss my friends that are away in far off places... the random ones where we would smoke doobies and play meaningless trivia games, the ones I would grab pie with at 3am, drink wine and eat tacos at midnight, the ones I would lay in bed with and chat for hours.

Maybe I was wrong in thinking that this someone I'm with can be all of those, cause that's not him and now I don't know what to do.

On another note...


I picked this up a week ago... the first Will Self book I have read, next on my list is his "How the Dead Live".

I have gotten through 3 of the stories -
North London Book of the Dead
Ward 9
Ur - Bororo

The first two definitely left me feeling creepy - not stalker like, more like being haunted. I guess anything that involves a living dead mother and being perceived as almost insane, w/out your drug induced brain realizing it, will do that. 'Ur - Bororo' was pleasant - an anthropologist of a friend that finds an Amazonian tribe to be everything opposite of ethnic and unique.

Last night I tried to touch on the main story 'Quantity Theory of Insanity', but the jargon made me want to pick up something else. I guess I have to be in the right mood - aka not disgruntled with my counterpart. From this guy's spiel -

"The Quantity Theory of Insanity itself is so self-evident as to be brilliant: there is only so much sanity and insanity in the world. When someone sane becomes less sane, someone insane gets saner."
- interesting enough to take another stab at it.

Thursday is the new turdsday.

Monday is neopolean ice - cream, old lady life drawings, spinach casserole & mash potatoes

Had this sitting on my shelf for ages...I believe since Ryan L. recommended this years ago.

Picked it up this morning and finished it by the end of laundry today.

Goods: Sci -fi author neighbors, "happy fingers", extra terrestrial zoo specimen with porno counterpart

War and death. Life is contrived = reproduction, sex, family, career, possible insanity, death .. then its just history.

Thanks Ryan L.

Next up: breakfast of champions (of course), cat's cradle

Excitement = September 16, 2008

I actually copped an advanced reader's copy that came into our store a little over a week ago. I just finished this last night... 09/13 ;)

I must say that Chuck's novel writing style isn't as different as his cult crit pieces, but there were some charming parts to it. Pretty much a novel that focuses around 3 very different characters in the 80's in middle America having abnormal/ normal tendencies (same thing)and getting caught in some death trap blizzard of a storm.

Only complaints... too much football talk (especially between Julia and Vance's bar convo) and too much use of 'fuck' in the first half of the book (feel's like Chuck is trying to hard for some edginess). All in all, pretty innocent, somewhat predictable... definitely better towards the end.

pre - : Sex, drugs, and Coco puffs (blogged on old xanga), killing yourself to live, Klosterman IV

Definitely cute...

Pavel seconds she's as smart as she is fab.

Existential

All and all, it has been hot and semi - cold, sleepless nights, lazy days...

swimming once,
bbqs thrice,
biking ten x's over,
barfed = 1 (record),
fell = 1 (another record),
books read = 3 maybe (pitiful),
tre museum trips,
paintings on things other than paper = 6,
4 batches of love's pastries,
5 dead plants,

and one broke ass muthafucka.

Same ol' same ol'.

Tanks

Ph: Markos

Got My Three B's...

bike
bookstore job
...other TBD... errr ahhh
toeclips
bar tape
bright lights
Beautiful Losers @ YBCA.

Top 10 Jobless Muses

10.Jarritos Grapefruit Soda
9. Food processor
8. Bike rides to nowhere special
7. Master Beta - beta fish
6. CA Poppy to grow
5. Vanilla bean ice cream w. honey
4. http://vlassis-13.blogspot.com/
3. Color tones
2. Zach Dickenson voice-mail messages
1. Pavellington of course

Playing Hooky

Mom knows All

The tattoos
The cohabitation
The religious views
etc etc etc

Yea surprised,
I'm still a XXXX and not a S. XXX Disowned.

More like SXXXX is on her way to hell.

It's my new years

ph:Pavlovely

Today I saw a cover for the TIMES: "America's Medicated Army" - Apparently they've been feeding Prozac/ anti-depressants to troops to help them deal with war stress.

On a refreshing note, outside of the grocery store someone actually asked for food and not money. One banana, one orange, bag of trail mix, wheat bread, swiss cheese and sliced ham for you.

Ruler of My Heart - Irma Thomas

Today I read that the Caribbean Monk Seal was declared extinct. Jesus.

Its that month where San Jose gets stank, dry, and hot -

Ive learned that - that bitter taste for filipinos/ soiled - spoiled asian kids has never left my tongue

I love my fam and the one I'm with, but goddamn sticks up the anus/ no respect - below the belt/ too liquored up with a conscious for no one but themselves.

About 25....almost there (FYI - I'm not trying to do a damn thing).

R.I.P Hank & R.I.P Sadie

Mean faces, but you guys were goofy as hell.

Drink Holder Topline Bar Hopper

I need one for the commute to work. Your $13.41 can buy me this.

Typical

...I know. The Apt is changing, the Job is chill, typical San Joser. No new vices, just the realization that wine and beer at home is more fun, interior decorating is harder then they make it seem, making body parts is coming together smoothly, and Im back to 1996 < html photoshop 7.0 basic web coding. Definitely an old angelfire/-------- fan, who would have known that would be paying the bills.

---

05/02/08


ph: Darryl


ph: me


Word Son.

The worst

conversation to date (I didnt even start it) -

dumbassStocktonfilipina: So you can make that dish with cooked vegetables, rice, something, and egg on top?

me thinking wtf is that : Umm NO, my parents are Filipino, but I was born here.

dumbassStocktonfilipina: Oh so you can make adobo and lumpia?
me: no I make chicken, mash potatoes, steamed veggies, green beans and whitie ass shit.

Damn I got pulled the ignorant card by a bitch that was the same color and look as me aka a fellow filipino female. On another note:

dumbassStocktonfilipina: Did you watch the Sharks game?
dude: Yea it was a good game... (something to that effect)
dumbassStocktonfilipina: Who did they play?
dude: The Stars
dumbassStocktonfilipina: What a bad name for a team, the stars cause they uhhh shine?? hardeedarhar


Someone needs to cut that branch off from the family tree or dry out her gene pool. What a waste of space and making anything thats female with brown hair and slanted eyes look bad. What a shame.

Genes

Today marks...

...the last day of short term hobo-ism and independence.


ph: Markos - 4/29/08

Ryan L.: did you get the job?
Me: yes!
Ryan L.: yay! congratulations
Me: haha im blogging about it
Ryan L.:nice... i'll make sure to read it
Me: hahaha well i dont think im typing much
i think i should tell you.... i woke up this morning feeling like an adult
Ryan L.:well that sucks


.....I thought that I shouldnt have drank so much last night, thinking of all the money spent, thinking of the wall I gotta paint, the books I can try and sell, the parking permit I need to get, the shower I need to take...most of all how I will walk into my new job at 9AM and never dare to treat it like the company I used to work for.

the end.

Field Trip

Ms. Smith asked if I could come to the 3rd graders field trip to the Fallon House in San Jose.



The majority of the time was dedicated to helping them make scones, while the others were convincing a kid that I could jump and tackle him if he jumped over the fence, trading bananas for apples with the girls, and handing out 'secret' chocolate covered gummy bears. The scones tasted bland so I had to topped it off with more sugar. (another 'secret')

Wish me luck....

....nylons without runs. Check!
....black ink cartridge for printer. Check!
...try to charm someone into giving me a job...pending...

Plans plans.. my indecisive ass.... new school for social research in NY, find a job in the city,work for non-profit, go to school in SF, move move move..... X that.

Today I've realized I'm happy just where I am at this moment. I'll be a San Joser for about 3 more years at least.. and it's fine with me.

+Stay in APT 9
+Find a job
+Apply to School of Nerds (July 1st)
+India (dream of going July-August '08)
+Start School of Nerds Program in Spring '09

1/2 vino, something something cerveza something

Infront of cluck us…with all the gayasians.

…damn you must have been faded.

From: XXXX
Sent: Wednesday, April 09, 2008 8:31 AM
To: Pavel Guevarra
Subject: Re: haha...

errrrrr when was that??



On Apr 9, 2008, at 8:17 AM, Pavel Guevarra wrote:


You crashed into a pole…

The guys are never gonna live that down…ever.

Good morning sarah

Donkey ass v.2

There were these cute windups from a toy store in BA. I had to get one..this one will be a gift, but I thought I's pay ode to the brown Ass.




music:
dodos- chickens

Saturday

Eric went to work

Sadie

to the park

at the park


Maltovs


Shopping....but upset system

Fillmoe got to get a drink.