Bookstore Blues

So at work, we call the lunatics that come in "flying pigs". I thought I had my share of them... from the guy in the German army jacket who wouldn't shut up about Arthur Doyle and his conspiracies or the army kid in campbell who spent his pant (yes bottoms) money on a military book that he hoped to build missiles in his garage with. Today I had the ultimate pig with wings. I think that if people look loony from the start, it's okay. I can deal. The thing that irks me the most are the sobs who come in and talk to you like they are completely normal people, until they say something that says 'I am really short of my marbles'. Normal looking kid ...really.

He comes up with a meditation book. "have you read this?".. my reply "no, but I have read some books on Buddhism that involve meditation, but not specifically" (Pretty much like me trying to offer a suggestion). Then he asks a couple more reasonable questions... How do you like working here? Seems like a great place to work. What kind of books do you like... etc. Are you hiring?...I give the typical 'No, but you can always bring in a resume and we can keep it on file.' He says, What's your name? Mine is MASON.

Really he seems 'normal', enough anyway. He asks more about the books I'm into and when I say cultural crit or things about media and society, he relates the whole deal to spiritualism somehow. I quit talking cause this dude is not making sense, but whatever. Then awhile later, while I look for a book order, I look up and homie has his right arm up and takes a FAT whiff of his armpit. Like I can hear his nostrils flaring right next to his pit.

Holy f*ck. In my mind I'm thinking maybe I should leave a memo and draw out his face and say if this guy comes in with a resume and his name is Mason, don't hire him, he just smelled his armpit. well maybe that wasn't a viable reason...

Then Mason becomes the craziest dude ever cause of what is coming from his mouth...'do you have any books on Celestine prophecy?',' do you know anything about tai chi?'... I pretty much point this guy to the metaphysical section. He grabs a stack of books, sits in the seating area and instigates on things that I say to other customers, then dares to comment on the books I'm mylaring. Its closing time and I make the announcement.. he says something that I cant hear and don't care to... he waits to be the last guy in the store.. "Did everyone leave?" YEA CAUSE WE ARE CLOSED MF*^(%^*.

Then he wants to put his books on hold that are wet from his sweaty hands... yea I knew his name is Mason. Then every book he pulled from the shelf, he stacks on the top of each shelf of books. Lazy f*(^*. Mason... wtf... smell your armpits, get into my business, disarrange the worst section in the store, and don't buy a thing. Buying nothing is fine, but be a decent human being.



Now for things that made my day... I guess a guy came in to sell his books, but since we dont look at them on Sundays, he left 3 crates of them by the dumpster.



I copped Ficciones by Borges, Green Eggs and Ham, and Cricket in Times Square. Score!