Drove 800 miles, crossed Oregon state and saw Mt Shasta...to go to sasquatch fest. I guess I won't go into it much even though everyone thought I was going to a squash festival... hrm. But I saw super duper bands... deerhoof, grizzly bear, santigold, beach house, erykah badu, explosions in the sky.. as well as danced to chromeo... ahh.
Santigold became my fav..i have to admit. "to all the performers out there, don't eat burger king before you're about to do a show".


Some kiddie/ regular customer brought this in for me to read. I finally finished it and this writer is pretty amazing. Some stories, like "the end of the parade" left me depressed, but others like "mona", "Hally's comet", and "in the shade of the almond tree" were fantastic. In these stories he often writes in first person and switches off sporadically with characters so its difficult at first to realize whats going on, but he also writes like the character is talking to you, especially with all the inner dialogue. So sweet!

I also borrowed some books from the library, I started Joan Didion's "Plays as it lays" but it made me feel so insanely depressed with her character that I decided to ditch it midway. Now I'm reading "Books" by Larry McMurty, and even though I've never read any of his books, nor plan to read them, nor am I not anywhere near interested in westernized gone with the wind, lonesome dove like jumbo.... I dig it. I like these books about books- books.

Pet peeve

halfway done... then crack! the binding splits. After an unprofessional repair of glue and scotch tape, two pages fall out of place and distracts me horribly. Why why...

I spent an hour and a half's worth of my paycheck for a hardbound, 1971 edition with an okay dust jacket. Its a definite keeper....but

how nerdy... why do I even care!!!!!

Feeling Keen about life with some minor disctractions

Two good reads in the midst of papers and papers....can't wait until summer vaca, No summer school for me.

I guess I'm looking to get out of here

-Will Eiser's New York: The Big City
I'm late but utterly obsessed with this series. I went to the library, but they're all gone.


Charley is my fav. Steinbeck has a great perspective...I dig it. Kick's Keroac's sucky hobo butt.

The past week was insane. I seriously questioned my decisions about getting back into school and even was on the brink of giving up on one class... the first class of the whole program that's supposed to be the easiest and most broad. I turned in my first late and somewhat incomplete assignment, yea but reading this seriously reminded me f myself.. I guess I am one of those people who needs constant recognition and to ace everything, especially only try things that I know I will succeed at. Its so dumb to say that this comic helped me through, but it did. America Splendor was freakin' great. This is pretty good too. I never thought I'd be into any heros.

I have also been reading the "Sun Also Rises"... I got through the first half pretty quick, but its been slow from then on. I did like the conversation...

"Don't you ever get the feeling that all your life is going by and you're not taking advantage of it? Do you realize you've lived nearly half of the time you have to live already?".... "Do you know that in about 35 years more we'll be dead?"

But Brett does seems like such a whore attention slut, and it makes me want to go fishing in Spain.

End of Days

A great way to finish my break... I'm sad really I am.

Tallis starts off a bit intimidating (he is one smart dude), but the book becomes more interesting and enlightening further along. He starts of with the basics about the mind then goes about the senses, our thoughts, identity, and consciousness by incorporating a balance of science, philosophy, and references to literature. It was sometimes difficult to absorb, but also hard to put down. It definitely magnifies the subtleties of how the mind works and puts in perspective the mind's capabilities that we often take for granted.

So yea, its Saturday night and I miss my Pavel and being out in the cold air. I'm dreading school and feel terribly nervous about the next couple months. I often feel like my mind has regressed back, like I feel I have the tendencies of a kid in puberty: self-conscious, unsure, and unable to retain information. I know it had to be the major depression and anti-depressants a little over a year ago. Its difficult to communicate, socialize, and most of all speak in front of people... so the presentation I have to do in a couple weeks is making me nerve wrecked. I feel like i should have grown out of this.....

Man... I think back about how teachers assign books and they get a bad rep. One that comes to my mind that I hated was the red badge of courage. ouch.
This is one of those books that I luckily didn't get assigned, and its freaking good.
freak yeaa man.

Bliss

Written in the 1880's, I know much of the literary, religious, and art references are over my head. Most of it sounds like a commentary of a wealthy, intelligent culture snob who is engrossed in talking about his taste in everything, but its not obnoxious, just over consuming. The story is still good...des Esseintes the last of his bloodline, wealthy, well-educated in theology and Latin, but can't relate to anyone and thinks society is full of idiots moves to the outskirts of France to isolate himself in his books, art, and all human contact. Its hard to pinpoint the deal with him... sometimes he seems twisted, over the top, or too full of himself, but I think its something I'd appreciate the more I read it through. Finally something I didn't have stop reading midway.

Unfinished Business:

Some titles I have read halfway, plus through and know I'll get back to them eventually..
(Yea, even though it was years ago...)
The Plague - Camus
Jungle - Sinclair
Herland - Gilman

Others... more like in the past month, I picked up and thought who cares or my brain should have this much smut (I am a fan of smut though):
The Book of Vices - Peter Sagal
Why? The first few chapters were actually good and interesting. Gambling boring, Pornography boring (all he says is that porn stars are actually good people...duh I could have figured that)
Faster -James Glieck
Why? After a few chapters... Type A and others were interesting, but mostly was a description of whatever time contraption and its evolution through history i.e: watch, fast food, work hours in a day. The best part of the book is "the end" and I think I could've just read the last chapter and been satisfied
Naked Lunch - Burroughs
Why? I am actually on the verge of putting this down. Well written yes, and overload of smut yes! Almost halfway through... I guess I'm a plot kind of person and knowing about various drugs and street behavior doesn't interest me anymore. I think I would have adored this book when I was in high school and experimenting.. but necrophilia, reading about withdrawals, etc. Its just like Junkie.. but harder to absorb. Figures, he was loaded when he wrote most of it...

I have a guiltiness inside when I put things down... gah whyyy

Whats up with the lack o' Harry Callahan on the web. A photobook of his came in the campbell store. I want it. $50 divided by employee discount% = ? still no.


Merriweather Post Pavilion - Animal Coll
Sucks Blood -Ohsees
There's No Home - Jana Hunter
Seven Guitars with a Cloud of Milk- Gable
Robert Johnson Complete Recordings
Expensive Shit & Roforofo Fight - FelaKuti

Behind...

Current State of Living

I think i shouldn't have taken 3 of the core classes on my first semester back in school. One is the writing supplement course, second is the create a database course, third is a management course.

oh well . I'll see you guys in 5 months.

edit02/18/09

I somehow was able to finish Delillo's White Noise, which is a PostModern classic (my library manual said so!) about a Professor who teaches classes about Hitler, has been married 3 times with a handful of children, and has the ongoing fear of death which he suffers with Babbette his current wife. She cheats on him for a drug called Dylar, which is advanced in biopsychology by ridding the brain of the fear caused by death, but proves to be ineffective. The book it really entertaining... the details about suburbia and consumerism is a mockery of how absurd the american lifestyle can be. In chaotic situations, the character and his family come off nonchalant and somewhat emotionless.

Pretty cool... but I got scolded by Pav for being behind of my work because I'm reading my own books and not school books. Boo hoo.

So one week into the semester, a couple weeks with the new work schedule and everything is okay. I've been being anal, unnecessarily stressed, but quiet about having to complete every bit of work. Only so far I have had introductions and readings, which reminds me how texts are tiring and monotone, but I actually like the information (about information)!

I finally finished A Brave New World, that I borrowed along with Choke (which I am reading right now)..not so much cause I wanted to, but semi did/do. I read Huxley's book back in college for my a philosophy class, and liked the subject matter, but it still wasn't as memorable. :( I think Huxley's short autobiography at the end was what I liked the most. Maybe I'll give it another 5 years and give it a read through for the third time.

Nothing has really changed even though school started, but I don't mind staying in and reading textbooks and becoming anti-social/ dormant. I think I was already heading down that route for the past couple years anyway.

edit: Choke was an entertaining book. really better then i expected. Now I hear a Brave New World movie is in the works and Leonardo di Caprio is in it...ouch. Bandwagon jumper (I).

chang a lang lang

At a second attempt..I read it, laughed, awed, was briefly was disgusted by America (humans = machines), thought about a God, grew slightly offended, admired his illustrations and POV, considered my own free will...

I also have moderately large amounts of flem in my pharynx, took off 2 hours early from work, and am mildly lethargic plus craving cake, but thankful I could finish... scared that I found mid - partini board game - someone else possibly reads this booger blog :(





Uber short, but now feeling super creepy. First book I ever read by him about a 32 person murder in the rich mansions of London. A detailed POV by a hired psych who scopes out the case from beginning to end. Motives by their murderers can be easily understood, but he lays out the details, weapons, second by second plan fiercely. (NOTE: I'm the biggest wuss out here...so.)

On the quest to find other books and/or knock more off my pile, I spent the last of my xmas money on this.

The novel before his famous "Ask the Dust", but written in the 1930's and was left unpublished until 1985 because it was too riske for the time. Once again Arturo Bandini is a wretched writer living with his Catholic mother and destined to be a nun sister, who rely on him to be the breadwinner, but can't keep a job until his Uncle Frank sets him up with a dead weight position at the cannery making 25 cents an hour among the Mexicans and Filipinos. His big ego of a self professed writer, proud to be American, complicated vocabulary comes off at times as arrogant and as a bigot, but it's more like a insecure, revengeful individual who says things to spite others and make himself feel giant. (Hilarious!) Without knowing his perspective, you can imagine that any person from the outside would think that he is insane... well even knowing his POV, he still comes off as crazy - killing crabs to win the war, sneaking nudie cutouts and having a name and personality for each, swooning over women he notices randomly and retraces their footsteps obsessively. Pretty spectacular.

'School' started a couple days ago.. well more like one class.. modules have been easy so far. ho hum. I wonder if I'm taking things too lightly at the moment. For one task, we were supposed to post in our personal blogs for other students to see. While some talked about their experiences in libraries, others about their opinions of social networking or the Oakland riots, I wrote the rhyme 'Ode to my first class: a 203 post' mostly jokingly and horribly cheesy. Oh well.

New years resolutions - more like a grocery list of self improvements

(9 days to late) that I failed to mention:
Improve my recently learned 10 key typing skills
throw the veg categorizing out the window
make school my No. 1 priority
read more, paint more
work on my socializing which is on a steady decline (and probably will keep)
listen and just improve my memory..sigh


Didn't have anything I was enthused to pick up and read from my pile on the edge of my couch, so ehhh I guess I'll knock one off the pile. Pav says I haven't entirely read the book, since I skipped the chapter about the army and the effects of bullets on human cadavers, but it did provide some interesting insight to how our bodies decompose (i.e. gases need to escape so our tongues and mouths, as well as genitalia become 'edowed'), cannibalism is China (up to the Ming dynasty, it was a practices that kids, more so daughter take a part of themselves and make a dish for their ailing mother in laws - boiled breast, seared thigh, etc), organ transplants, beheadings, environmental alternatives for the dead - human compost...

A customer that had bought a hard cover of this book said it was really good, but borderline awful... which is exactly a way to describe the author who goes on tangents and while interviewing mentions the obvious, tacky joke of the cadavers - insert penis joke here - . She is thorough enough to keep it interesting, even the book is somewhat dated. Main message: DONATE YOUR ORGANS TO MEDICINE/ Bodies to Science

EDIT:

From a resident of San Francisco, The Abortion by Brautigan is a quick read about a librarian (not your typical library), who meets and is with a stunning young girl (who hates the attention she receives from males constantly for her hot bod) and takes a trip to Tijuana to abort a baby that they're not ready for. The library, which is a place for anyone to bring in books that they wrote, unpublished, and place them in their shelves - no dewy decimal system here - is his home and a place he can't imagine being without.

Despite the writing being too simple at times, such as its dialogue stating the obvious, it's lighthearted, a bit poetic, and taking place in SF in the 60's, it's references to the city's streets and building is charming for any local - he even mentions his dislike of San Diego. Reading up, it sounds like a Vermont library put into practice the Brautigan library (http://www.jessamyn.com/journal/june00b.html), but isn't open to the public and may relocate to the Presidio - Yea the Presidio library mentions nothing of it.

I had to make it one of my last reads before school started.. yea bestseller smchmeller, but it was a good read. More of a genealogy essay in some ways, than an all out story of Oscar Wao. You begin to appreciate his family (sister, mother, bestfriend, grandfather, tia) and their struggles with life, which seems to be more from a passed down stubbornness, then the curse. I wonder how accurate his descriptions are of Dominicans, their superstitions, and the corruption of SD, but if I wrote a story of my family, it would probably have had the same energy (...it reminded me of my background) if I tried to describe Filipinos in the Philippines... except my family is uhh godly & square.

Despite the references to things nerdy (The Watchmen, Tolkien, etc) and 'cool' (Joy Division)... which it could have done without, the last couple pages is the best of the book. What about love?? I guess if I wasn't in it..I'd just be in disgust for its sappyness. wink wink, nudge nudge

At home (top) At play (bottom)

Pre 2009

ph: markos
My old g ride.

Xmas week isn't quite over yet. Thanx to my lover for an easel, my family for college monies & corporate gift cards, pav's fam for pajamas and a matching ramen bowl set for the two of us (blue and pink)...

I've been sleeping more than reading... read halfway "Kafka was the Rage: a Memoir of Greenwich Village" wear the author actually attended new skool college of social research after fighting in WW2.. and reminded me of my old dreams to live in the city and study in that program. weep weeep

Instead I picked up..

which was overall a good plot... overpopulation in Britain, so everyone is limited to one child (excess children are fined), the bible is an ancient smut book from the past, homosexuality is encouraged, contraceptives are mandatory from the Ministry of Infertility, cannibalism is a last resort when rations are out, war is a government scheme to kill off the Darwin award cases and at least make them have a proud patriotic death. Still it was a drag.

Now its Henry Miller's Quiet Days in Clichy

, which unfortunately I saw the movie first, but still a good story of erotic bohemian France from the perspective of an American man whore.

2 more weeks until I have to hit the books seriously...er.

To Nevada City..

Finished this sucker last Wednesday...am I happy with the ending? ahh errr..not satisfied really. I did like how Bolano tied the characters together, but 2666 never made sense to me, nor the ending of a flavor of ice cream an author was named after, who know one remember, but is eaten on its most popular seasons of spring and summer. From reading I guess 2666 makes more sense in the Amulet and seems to be some cryptic code of a message (what my boss mentioned today)...ugh.

For a change I picked up "A penal colony" which includes 'the metamorphosis'..again a story I was sheltered from for years... because the family value factor is missing?

Today, we got in Bukowski's 'Women"
... and I will be happy and free, and admire the smut that I have put in front of me.

Part 4: The Part About the Crimes - had detailed descriptions of each of the murders in Santa Teresa, never really determining who are the serial killers, even though with the same themes of murder (rape, strangulation, left nipple bitten off, clothed, etc), you can never really pin point who did it...it sounds more like a an overall male dominance issue, where some husbands confess to the murders of their wives, while others sound like a pimp or client that has murdered his whore.
Some really grotesque incidents (i.e a raper in jail who gets a shiv in his rectum, new fish's ball sac sliced open)...I made it a point not to always read before I slept.


120 plus pages isnt anything, but as Burroughs first it's one of his easier novels - mostly about 'H' and 'M', sometimes 'C'...but his travels from city to city (new orleans to mexico city) trying to score and avoiding the pigeons, going through rehab, the junk withdrawels, etc. They even talk of hipsters haha... yea the same as ones now that talk about wanting to do drugs and once on em needing to be babied. I finished this last night then had bad dreams about being in a car with people jabbing each other with needles to death...

Part 3: The Part About Fate
... I'm a wuss but the story is getting intense. A reporter from Harlem goes to Santa Teresa to report on a boxing event, but he somehow gets involved with reporting of the murders of hundreds of women that have been occurring in the town.

Feeling creepy.

Doing nothing

..with that break I read...

which made me horribly uncomfortable to the point I had to keep reading until things settled down (around chapter 16 when Camilla scores pot). Arturo is a straight edge writer barely making it by in 70's LA, borderline obsessive and more so compulsive over a mexican waitress named Camille, it's a constant hatred to be loved game between then, except that Camille is more obsessed over Sammy, who wants nothing with her. Arturo still goes life and limb for this chick and its dreadful... ahhh

Bukowski wrote the foreword, apparently this was his author god, and you can notice the resemblence (except Fante is sober than ever... denying a free beer for coffee). Another worthy mention are the Filipino danceclubs and a Filipino guy with a pimp suit to compensate for his inch short of height to his woman hoe.

Saturday was a stay at home day, which consisted of above and below:
First attempt at faces... from the back cover of 'the Island'


Now back to 2666 Part 3... owweee. Best book of 2008...we'll see.

Sincerly,

(by Pavel)

2666

1: The Part About the Critics
2: The Part About Amalfitano
... I found to be tedious to read, but the constant tangents, side- stories, etc
is still interesting all in all.

The book is more like 5 parts = 5 novels, but they all tie together somehow, where one minor character in one part, becomes the main in the next.

Part 1 of 4 literary snobs/ critics who study German literature and are on the quest to find Archimboldi, their beloved writer who they travel south to find him, but really never do.. I guess that's where 5: The Part About Archimboldi comes to play (err like six hundred blah blah pages later). More like a love triangle with off set dreams and travels from Paris to London, Madrid to Paris, etc, references to Spanish lit, its not a bad way to start the book.

Part 2 I found easier, with a philosophy professor from part 1 that becomes the main character and why he seems to have gone mad, drama with a wife that has left him and their daughter to follow a poet, then comes back to find him; an unowned deteriorating book plus philosophy geometry diagrams; hearing a voice of someone who ends up not who he originally thinks to be...

Yea this book is all the hype and it really deserves it (well for the 200+ pages I've read at least...) err ah..yea Im taking a break.

eating meat

I'm really into this..really really. Gordon (the main guy) is anti money; he believes 'making good' ($$ success) is the root of evil in all mankind and is determined to surpass it. Being the youngest son of a middle class family who never did anything to better themselves, they always supported him financially for a good education, but as 29 yr old going 30, he's quit 2 'good' jobs to work at a bookstore, live in poverty, write poems, eat bread and margarine... he loses his cool when he finally gets paid, treats his friends out, blows all his money on expensive food and champagne, gets drunk, tries to rape his girlfriend. That's not all, but awesome for a book written in the 1930's.

Birds & Batteries splurge:

I'll Never Sleep Again"
Birds & Batteries; Audio CD; $0.06

"Nature vs. Nature"
Birds & Batteries; Audio CD; $0.52

plus -
,
piles of solid wood blocks to paint on,

and Good Hustle on a Friday is a good day.

under One Month Old

Our first little baby tank. Progress updates TBD.

Finished reading a fic memoir from Diane Di Prima... a female beatnik-er living in NY.
First half of the book is all cunt, cock, balls, and ass - group sex, free sex, gay sex (did I just pick up some erotica?) but more towards the end, it was more a lifestyle then anything - I began to appreciate her pov, values and lack of sometimes, enough to pick up her other memoir book..nehaaaj1iheuhlafhaelfjdshfja

Tuesday is the big day

...and Obama's grandmother passed the eve of.

Saw my mother on her day off that really was a 'lay off' from a mall laser treatment job she took on part time/ for fun that had to close its one of many doors because of the good ol' economy. Her answer to this economic state 'God will provide', but the God worshiping sons of bitches in office for the past 8 years is what the hell sent us down and out. I havent seen my mother as much as I should and used to, and I miss here really. I hate cutting the time we spend together short, but the moment I jump into the car is Christian radio with discussions of Yes on Prop 8 with a testimony from a gay man who married his partner when the prop was passed a couple years ago and regretted it cause it was too early; then another story about the teachers who took their students to city hall to watch her and her partner get married...etc. 'We have a creator and he provided a life manual..'. I'm telling you its difficult. Then asking "how is your living situation" seemingly expecting (probably praying) that its the detrimental situation her religion predicts to be.
3 hours is all I can stand..then hearing about my older brother now attending church... I need to go home...I need to be in my comfort in my immortal scientific human adulterous life. I'm jealous. Really jealous of others who did without this sheltered childhood that shunned me from reading, listening,seeing, learning anything that was out there. At 25 I feel I'm late in the game...I have too much to catch up on...

...from reading:


I felt better. Chianski continues his wino, perverted, can't keep a job, gambling antics. (Like a continuation of Post Office) Not much I can say, except I respect his thought of the white collar life as the real down way to live. Travels cross country by bus, no emotion with the things in life that would make us depressed, instead its drowned by port wine. Out of a house, a woman, and a job his last dollar is spent at the strip club.

Sunday night I also picked up: Joan Didion's non fiction collection of work - We Tell Ourselves Stories in Order to Live..and honestly haven't been able to let it go

I guess she's more popular now for her novels, but she did write articles in her early years. The first book in particular Slouching towards Bethlehem is of events and people pertaining to California in the 60's. The Miller case in San Bernadino, Joan Baez School of NonViolence in Monterey, Howard Hughes as heroic and his empire, marriage in Las Vegas, etc etc... yea I haven't even dented the thing....

Never too old...

Before:




After:

Ph: AnAm



Reading "A Cook's Tour", nothing worth writing about, but its 'Ok'. Foie gras and caviar sounds mighty good though. I think I seriously am starting to ditch the veg thing. Conflicted/ Denial. Sigh.
(Let me mention while carving pumpkins, they grilled bacon wrapped hotdogs. Yea I missed out I know.)

edit: Okay I take it back. Now that I've read it Cook's Tour is pretty splendid. A highlight is a visit to SF and his description of the city is actually on point! Especially with the city's fascination with Fernet... I think it gives Bourdain some deserved credibility.

borrowed books borrowed books

My first Bukowski read, which was relatively easy and engaging. A job at the good ol' post office, an easy in, high turnover, 'secure' position for the main guy, who is a brash backtalker, drunk, womanizing, loyal, good luck gambler... my kind of character. If someone was to describe his qualities, he would seem more like a jerk/ loser, but his honest charm gives sense of the fact he scores about any 'ass' he lays eyes on.

Makes me wonder how close this guy's persona is to the author. I guess this was one of his early novels, I have yet to learn how absurd he becomes... yea I was made a quick fan of his.

I want: factotum, woman

next: ham on rye; pulp (last novel he wrote before he died)

"its a thin line between love & hate"

ph: dru

more love more love....

how much can/ will it take for 2 different people to make it work.

Mental ward at a time when disorders were not understood (red pills, 'disturbed' and electro shock therapy in extreme cases), even though I halfway wondered why the characters in the story were admitted in the ward in the first place, it sounded more like the staff that ran the facility had ego/ power trips than therapeutic intentions.

First person, Indian (not PC) 'Chief' was the most insightful of course and with reminiscence of watching his tribe and settlement being taken over by the white man, who couldn't blame him for being 'insane', even though he his insights never hinted of it; McMurphy being the hero of causing chaos and giving life to the ward patients (fishing trips, gambling, 'sluts' and booze) with unaccounted tendencies... I couldn't help but hope for this guy to win war with the nurse and topple the bureaucracy.

In some ways, both sides win at the end...the nurse's willing patients unadmit one by one leaving a failed rehabilitation clinic, while McMurphy is fried and scalpled to a vegetable at her content and discretion.

Became a great read as I came further to the end, all character's had personality...more interesting was reading later that Kesey wrote this book during is graveyard shift working at a ward in Menlo Park, and even underwent electro-shock and took the drugs. Muy Bien and Kesey is pretty much amazing.

Next: Demon Box

A Wales kid at the hostel in Buenos Aires told me this is his absolute favorite book. I picked up the 'Original Scroll' version, but finally someone sold the original version at my work. Thought this would be the better first one to pick up.

A really easy read with the yearning to say 'fuck you' to our corporate slave jobs and yuppie lifestyle... brings out the do what you feel attitude - escape the city, hitchhike to the other side of the country, fall in love with innocence, drink and be high, share stories with strangers, sleep on car roofs, have no fear of the world - aka - people are out to harm you, debt, monogamy, gaining status. Dean has to be the best guy ever -always tearing shit apart, but has the energy and enthusiasm that we all need in life.

Epic Saturd - day

I've been haggling my Pav to spend some good time together - more like doing things we like to do, rather than spending our free time attending other people's functions (which has been the case for the last month or so).



cacks, dru, corporate P teabag, my big ass head

-Take 7am train (first one out to SF)
-Ride to Valencia for a good Veg breakfast at Boogaloo's: 'fake' steak, polenta, biscuit and veg gravy!
-Ride to Academy of Art/ Steinhart Aquarium
-Ride to Clement - found a chicken hawk kite for 1.49. Rode to fleet week, flew kites, laid in the grass, watched tax dollars burn in the air
-Biked back to the city for bikestore (yawn booo)
-Coffee, whisky flask and coke came in handy at the Park
-Bender's bar - played dru some bar pool, had my first deep friend twinkie, mucho tecates, #1 champions of Erotic photohunt ya!
-DimSum on mission late night
-Mike Giant show - more like sitting on the curb drinking and watching the cops pass us by. TL cops are serious cops.
-Take the 12am train (last train to SJ).

Monday strawberries, water, tofu adobo

An overthinker's day to day journal with no feeling for a thing in the world, was at times hard to follow especially with the neighbor sawing metal outside, a fixie jock on caltrain talking about vegetarianism, etc. but Sartre writes delicately and heartfelt, which made this book feel personal.

He questions his existence, but more I can understand his reasons of wondering why he was brought here. Seen as pessimist by the Self - Taught Man, which had to be my favorite character on top of Anny, the love of his life, the 30 - year old history writer often has no feeling for life as it passes by in front of him, but documents ever small detail to find its meaning.

Stabs himself in the hand with no pain; reuniting with Anny after 4 years, who is changed and no longer seeks perfect moments, but has outlived her life and is the living dead; finds out why the Self- Taught Man has a the optimism for the youth of life like he does (shocking ahha)... all in all he moves from moment to moment waiting for meaning, feeling nothing, except to only realize that he is free to be lavish (spend a money on travel, women, etc) or do nothing but at the end everything is just meaningless(not really positive or neg).

next up: No exit and 3 other plays